Acquiring Balance: Religious Relationships

At times the fact of the matter arouses an overwhelming sense of loss. Because certain pairings of friendship could be so?fulfilling...if not for the religious views getting in the way. Families would be less torn apart, friends would get along better. Yet, not many can see this fact or admit the double life that religion can bring...acting one way while feeling another, pretending to be "good" while holding in anger, submitting because it is believed to be right instead of submitting out of love. But most of all, the judgements that are made unknown to the one judging. The little pieces said. The reason why friendships fall through. One sentence can convey a whole load of meaning. The lack of confidence those outside feel when it comes to trust. Because how can we trust people with such strong beliefs ruling every decision? How can we trust our true feelings, our imperfections, our struggles, and even our glorious moments to people who measure them by scripture and sermon?

The most fulfilling relationships do not involve religious intent. Of course, some of the most fulfilling relationships involve Divinity or a belief in something. Faith gets a conversation deep and far. Overwhelming love covers a multitude of problems. Unfortunately, the lack of genuinely close, reaching deep, freedom giving relationships...those type of formations we long for...do not come from shared rules. They come from shared BEING. If one knows the stances of another, and knows that these stances are not flexible, there is only so far the conversation can go without uncomfortable feeling.

I have seen this story override budding beauty. Watched the breaking of what could have been an amazing friendship...all because of belief. It is sad. That lack of freedom. Watching what one says. Knowing that a step in the "wrong" direction could cause a feud. Knowing that admitting a consideration for people groups could condemn one to hell. The ghost of ideals continually haunts.

Observing both parties, I feel grief. Deep gut wrenching grief for all involved. The saddest part is - they are too blind to see. It can not be explained until eyes are open. Most prefer to cling to stability than to engage in humanity. They pass it off, "Are you sure that you are not blind by saying we are blind? How can you say that my belief in God is ruining my relationships? Other people are doing that." Maybe I am blind. I am blind to sharp corners and rigid stances. Being out of that mindset sometimes it is shocking to see again. But I am not blind to the tragedy. Nor to the beauty of loving relationships when they are seen. All relationships have conflict but the deeper conflicts come from one of two things:
1) No belief in anything good or any Being that promotes Love. So the family and friends fall prey to deep disregard for another and selfishness.
2) Deep belief in a set or system that promotes a Being but honours the "way" to that being more than another. Religious souls who use "God" to make labels.
I have seen both play out. Both are heartbreaking. Number one is more obvious, while two hides behind a guise...but the result is the same...tearing apart of souls. It is deeply sad to watch.
"When you love someone and it goes to waste. What could be worse?"*

Mi- this link is for you:?http://kathyescobar.com/2012/05/10/well-behaved-women-wont-change-the-church-2/?and this:?http://kathyescobar.com/2010/07/06/drinking-the-company-kool-aid/

Song Choice: *Fix You- Coldplay, Imagine- John Lennon, Belief- John Mayer, Tonight I want to cry- Keith Urban, Cry Ophelia - Adam Cohen?(click on link to hear song. I LOVE this song. It has carried me through many moments.)

Source: http://acquiringbalance.blogspot.com/2012/09/religious-relationships.html

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