The president informs the Chinese leaders that he would consider such a disastrous alternative an act of war. He sends in the rescue mission without any assurance the Chinese will stand down.
A naval commander on the scene talks the White House through the next few tension-filled moments. The grappling hooks are on. We are lifting the sub. There is no explosion. Relieved cheers all around the room.
But what's this? The commander reports, "We're getting a pulse code from the Chinese nuclear sub. But it makes no sense. [Pause.] It says X . . . I . . . E . . . X . . . I . . . E."
"What is it, a code?" barks the vice president (Dylan Baker). I neglected to mention that he's holding an ice pack to his swelling eye socket because a couple of minutes before, the former president of the United States (Ciar?n Hinds) coldcocked him in the Oval Office. Bare-knuckle politics.
Luckily, the secretary of state (Sigourney Weaver) is there to make sense of this occult gibberish.
"It means xie xie," she says. " Xie xie. Thank you."
Are you serious, Madam Secretary? You mean these people have created a language of their own? How fiendishly clever!
Eighty-sixed. This was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week for Chad Johnson, the NFL player who once legally changed his name to his jersey number, Ochocinco.
First he was arrested on domestic-abuse charges, for head-butting his wife of five weeks, Evelyn Lozada, a former straw that frothed the drink on the reality show Basketball Wives.
Then he was cut by the Miami Dolphins, which meant no more face time on his NFL reality show, Hard Knocks. Then his marital reality show, Ev and Ocho, which was to debut in three weeks on VH1, was pulled. ?Then (reality TV is a harsh mistress) he was shown being dumped by the Dolphins on HBO. ?
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