Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Online Dating Expert: How Not to Get 'Catfished' | genConnect

Manti Te?o

As the story continues to unfold, it appears Manti Te?o wasn?t the only one who may have been duped into a relationship by an online dating hoaxer.

The Notre Dame football star on Thursday will share his personal and painful story about the love scam, commonly known as ?catfishing,? on Katie Couric?s talk show, ?Katie.?

Whether you?re a celebrity or the boy or girl next door, when matters of the heart are involved, it?s not uncommon to get lured in by a romantic pursuer on the Internet.

Related: When You?re Sick of His ?Stuff? (VIDEO)

This most certainly doesn?t mean that all online daters are insincere, but the Notre Dame football star?s story will create more awareness about the digital courting process.

Spending time in chat rooms, Gchat, or Facebook chat provides an immediate connection with someone with whom you may share personal information and intimate details with after a certain period of time.

The next thing you know, you have that euphoric feeling that someone is in your digital corner. In other words, you now have a ?digital pen pal,? not a real girlfriend or boyfriend. You want to share your exciting news with your friends, but if your online crush isn?t who he or she says they are, you?ll feel embarrassed and shame will kick in. You won?t want your friends to know you?ve been duped.

Related: Don?t Make the Same Dating Mistakes This Year

So before you start changing your Facebook status to ?In a Relationship,? look for these signs:

  1. Your online crush is quick to say, ?I love you?
  2. Your chats only take place late at night, when everyone else is asleep
  3. Your new love won?t hop on a Skype call or video chat
  4. The photos seem too good to be real
  5. Multiple excuses prevent you from meeting in person
  6. Your digital pen pal asks for money
  7. Your new love is from another country

Watch: Online Dating to Become Safer For Singles (VIDEOS)

Understand that the fantasy of the perfect person is so elevated, that you truly do believe you?ve met ?the one.?? If this is the case, I recommend the following steps:

  1. Check his or her Facebook profile to see if the photos match up and if you have friends in common.
  2. Do a reverse phone number check by typing in your new love?s phone number in a Google search.
  3. Type his or her e-mail address into a Google search to see if there?s a digital footprint.
  4. Use photo recognition software such as TinEye.
  5. Conduct a background search using a site such as Intelius.

While these tips may provide information on your new digital love, not all of the data is available on the Internet. Let a close friend know you may be suspicious of your date and see if your friend can help solve the mystery.

At the end of the digital day, trust your intuition. Even Manti Te?o had his doubts about Lennay Kekua.

Visit my Web site for more online dating safety tips.

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Tags: catfished, catfishing, courtship, cyber dating, dating, digital footprint, Facebook, featured, Gchat, Intelius, Julie Spira, Katie, Katie Couric, Lennay Kekua, Manti Te?o, Notre Dame, Notre Dame football, online crush, online daters, online dating, online dating hoax, Online dating service, relationships, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, Skype, TinEye, video chat

Category: Dating, Relationships

Source: http://www.genconnect.com/relationships/online-dating-expert-how-not-to-get-catfished/

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